Catch up time

Well, here we are in August already. This past month has flown by, but I did manage to squeeze a lot into it. So much that I didn't even have a minute to really sit down and blog. I kept telling myself that I needed to upload pictures and really make it a nice blog, but sometimes, those things have to wait and the writing must be down first. I might never get to it if I don't just stop and write it down. So I am just going to write it all down and post pictures at a litte more convenient time.

It is kind of long, so I don't mind if you just skim, or bypass. I just wanted to share all my feelings and give an update on things.

Many are already aware of the passing of my dear grandmother (in law) Charlene Miller. She is so much like my own grandmother that I will just refer to her as Grandma Miller, forget the inlaw part.

This morning I read two posts that Jill Shelley had on her blog, she was one of grandma's best friends after moving to Clovis 6 years ago. She does have many friends, but Jill and her husband Dennis are some her closest. I will just add the links if someone is interested in her sweet comments on the day that grandma passed, and the day of her funeral.

http://adventuresofgrandmahoney.blogspot.com/2009/07/oh-how-i-will-miss-her.html
http://adventuresofgrandmahoney.blogspot.com/2009/07/charlenes-funeral.html

I am going to take you back to a couple days before we went to Huntington Beach to visit my friend Rachel.

The Friday before we had left (the 10th) Alex's dad, Perry, took grandma to the doctor because she was just not doing well. She was very tired and weaker than usual. It doesn't help when most of the pills she took caused drowsiness. I felt bad leaving on the trip, but it was a perfect opportunity to see my friend without flying to Texas. Grandma was always excited when we got home, I know she missed our company a lot. I know she appreciated us living with her very much. So that Friday we had found out that she had a bladder infection and water around her lungs. That would explain why her feet were swelling a lot. So they increased her water pill, and gave her a prescription for the bladder infection. When we got back in town Sunday evening, I could tell that the swelling in her feet had gone down a little bit, and she said she felt alright, but not back to herself yet.

As the week of the 12th continued, she didn't seem to be improving much. Tuesday the 14th, Perry and I went over to the pharmasist to perhaps get some answers. She is a great lady, and knows Charlene pretty well as often as she was there picking up prescriptions. She explained to us how older people are affected differently with bladder infections than younger people. It messes with their heads more, and perhaps that is one reason she was more sleepy than usual. It was pretty bad from my perspective. Tuesday night she just wanted to go to bed early, because she could barely keep her eyes open when you were talking with her.

Wednesday the 15th, she seemed to be doing a little better. We always watched "So you think you can dance" on Wednesday's, it wasn't her favorite dancing show, but she grew to like it, besides some of the choreography which just didn't seem like dancing to her. For someone born in the 20's and growing up in the 30's, 40's and 50's, I'm sure hip hop just doesn't seem like 'dance'. She was always kind enough to watch it with me though, knowing that I enjoyed it. She always said they were all good dancers besides some weird routines here and there. She seemed less sleepy that evening, and had her eyes open most of the show. I figured she was doing much better.

So Thursday she seemed okay, but by Friday she really wasn't doing much better. Perry was coming over almost everynight to check on her because she just kept saying she was tired of being tired. There wasn't much we could do about it though, she was getting plenty of sleep. Friday I was gone most of the morning with Visiting Teaching, having lunch with some girl friends and going to the gym. Monday thru Friday she had a lady from church, Sandy, come watch her from about 8-12 each morning while Alex and I were away at work. I was glad she was there, so I could get my errands done Friday morning. After coming home on Friday, Grandma was just not doing well. She could only walk so far without getting really tired and having to sit down for a break. Her breathing was extremely labored from what I saw.

Friday night, my sisters, Terra and Wendy came over to watch a movie with me. Grandma decided she would stay in the room and watch the movie with us too, even though she slept most of the time. I was so grateful for my sisters coming over that night. I had been feeling a lot of responsibility watching over grandma by myself with Alex gone at camp a lot. And of course its always nice to have company. After the movie finished that night, Grandma struggled to walk to her room. She was getting really exhausted just from walking a few feet. As I helped lift her into bed that night, I realized it probably was necessary that she go to the hospital or the doctor. It had been a week since she had been to the doctor, and she really was just getting worse, not better.

Saturday, the 18th, was not a good day. Donna came over and decided that she really did need to go to the hospital, she was too tired and weak. Later on in the evening after she was in a room at the hospital we found out that she had pneumonia. The x-rays showed her right lung completely opaque, which isn't good. They said she would probably be there at least 3 days. So they put her on some high dose of antibiotics and had some respiratory therapists working with her, hoping for good results.

Sunday the 19th, Alex and I went to see her before church. She said she was doing okay. She also told us she would be home in another day or two. We just nodded, knowing she was probably too weak for that. As I read Jill Shelley's blog this morning, she mentioned something that kind of opened my eyes. When she said she would be home soon, perhaps she mean't to her real home, in heaven, not the one on earth. I know she wasn't doing well, but it just seemed like perhaps this was just another down turn. She seemed positive with hopes of getting better.

Monday, the 20th, I got off work at 3. I love getting out a little early on Mondays! My work is just right across from the hospital she was at, so that was nice. I went over after work, and Meghann and Donna were there visiting with her. She now had an oxygen mask on her face, and they told me that she wasn't responding well to the treatment, in fact, it was spreading to her left lung. At this point I realized perhaps this was not one of those times where she turns around. I just sat there with her for about 1/2 hour and she mostly rested her eyes. Looking at her was sad to see the mask on her face, and the labored breathing. She said she felt fine though, not really in pain. I kissed her on the forehead and said see you later. I thought I would see her the following day, but that was not the case.

Tuesday, the 21st, I was at work when I recieved a call 10 minutes before my lunch break. The lady up front came back and said, "you're husband is on the phone, he never calls here." She seemed concern. My heart stopped for a moment and then beat really fast and I knew that was the phone call telling me she had passed. I know she wasn't responding to the treatment, but I was somewhat surprised that it took her life so quickly. I know she was prepared to die, and wasn't afraid. I know she was excited to be reunited with all of her family. She lived a great life. She went peacefully, and our relief society president and friend was present when she passed. I am glad her mind outlived her physical body, and she was able to live in her own home these last years. My dear mother met me at work when I finished and was there to offer love. Thankfully I felt very at peace and comforted.

Grandma Miller played a huge role in our life. She was so sweet to let us live with her these past 2 years. I am glad we've been able to stay here for so long and be of help to her as she has been a help to us. Alex and I both expressed similiar feelings that night when we were visiting with eachother. I was so glad he was able to come home and comfort me. In talking, we realized that one of Grandma's purposes these last couple of years was to be here for us. Now that she has passed, we are ready to take the next step in our lives. Her mission is fulfilled and she could return home. She really influenced us, and helped us out so much. I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to get so close to her.

Monday the 27th, we were able to have a lovely memorial service and reflect on the righteous life she lead. It was nice spending time with Alex's uncle Rod, and cousin Denise and her family. It's hard being in her home sometimes, I have my moments where certain memories just hit me and make me cry. Like the small white board in the kitchen where I used to write the date and day of the week just sent me in tears one night. I really feel at peace though that she is happy.

Amongst sorting through important papers, pictures and things, we have been very busy. My friend Kresta and I had been planning a girls trip for a couple months from Thursday, the 23rd through the 25th, to San Francisco. I decided it would probably be good to get away and have some fun. It worked out great. It helped lift my spirits, and gave me some relaxation from the chaos around the house. We had lots of fun shopping, probably too much fun infact. I also learned lots of fun things about the girls. There were 4 of us, some of you have probably read Kresta's blog already and heard about all the fun. Saturday evening when we got back, I went over to my cousins house to celebrate my Aunt Brenda's recent marriage to Skip Miller (and no we're not related...haha, but that'd be funny). That was nice being around such wonderful family.

After the memorial service there was lots of work to be done. Alex's dad and uncle were over everyday going through things, plus all of the things they had to get done. The house was a mess, I'm not gonna lie, it was kinda scary. Each evening after work I spent time going through different rooms to help them out with sorting through things.

Friday, the 31st, Donna treated us girls (Alex's sisters and I), to go see WICKED in San Francisco. Kind of funny that I would go there 2 weekends in a row...haha. It was so fun. We went up Friday and came home after the show finished, so we left there around 11, got home around 2 ish AM. The show was AMAZING! As someone who did a little bit in the drama/music department, there is nothing like a broadway show! The singing left me in AWE! It was such a fun show. Thank you so much for taking us! I will cherish those memories.

Saturday, Aug 1st, after sleeping in a little... it was time to get to work again. Everyone came over and we just went to town on going through things and moving things to the Millers house. By the end of the day the house was 10 times cleaner! It was great!

So tomorrow the house is going to go up for sale. It looks presentable, but I still need to do some scrubing before people actually come look at it. We will hope for the best in this process. As far as where we will be living once it sells, we have no idea as of right now. Well, maybe some ideas, but nothing official. Needless to say that will be a busy project. As for now, we are staying here and will see what happens.

Sorry there was so much to read. I don't mind if you didn't really read it all the way through, it was mostly for me to just put it all out there. The calendar for this month is pretty busy already, but I will definitely try to keep things updated. Thanks for all those who have been such sweet friends at this time. I appreciate all the emails, and letters I have recieved. I feel very loved. I hope things are well with everyone else!